Smooth.....

I shaved yesterday.... Not just my armpits, but my legs (including my big toe) AND my girly parts.

Why is this significant? Well, I don't know about you, but when my weight is up, I don't take care of anything below my pits. I'll get my hair cut/colored, eyebrows groomed, do my make-up...and of course, shave my pits. Yes, I wash my entire body because I'm not that gross, and I lotion up after bathing, but I do it quickly, not spending time to carefully rub it in to my skin.

I don't want to look at my body, and since I don't want to look at it, I'm certainly not going to let someone else look at it. Therefore, I don't need to shave. I'm too big for any of my skirts and I don't wear dresses, so I don't need to shave. I can't afford pedicures, so I don't need to shave. I haven't had sex in forever, so I don't need to shave.

I used to shave everyday... EVERYDAY. I loved my fit body. My legs looked great in skirts. I got pedicures every other week and I was having sex...all the time. I kept myself in a GTF state. When going on a date with someone new, my friends and I would ask the question... "Did you shave?" If we didn't want to let the night turn into a walk of shame the next morning, we didn't shave. I think we secretly all shaved...even when we said we didn't.

While shopping with my daughter last weekend, I realized just how long it had been since I last shaved. I was wearing jeans and began feeling a tug that with each step got more and more painful and I could do nothing about it until I made it to the bathroom. My pubes had gotten so out of control they were getting caught between my undies and jeans!

So yesterday, I took out a new razor and began shaving. It took a long time...because I took my time. I had to use scissors to trim the length of my bush... but now it's all neat and tidy again.

I have to learn to let go of my disgust over my body. It is what is is and hating myself isn't going to provide the right, long-lasting motivation to change it. Ignoring my body, isn't making it go away or making it smaller. Paying attention to it and treating it well just might be the spark I need to get the fire burning again... in all areas!

So here's to keeping it smooth......